an ode to M.

This is us.Willow free for the first time this year. Also, I suck at selfies.

I've never really written about M because his story isn't really mine to tell. I mean sure, I've mentioned him loads, because he lives with Willow and myself and he has a massive role in our lives, but I've never gone into detail, or skimmed over stuff, for all sorts of reasons. But a couple of things have come together, and I've decided to write a post starring M.

The main thing is, is that everyone who meets him likes him. But especially single mothers/ members of blended families, they really marvel at how awesome he is. and it's true. and I really don't publicly sing his praises. (that sounds dodgy, but stick with me on this.) I mean, the guy has to make a LOT of sacrifices, and for what? And you can say what you like about love being more important than money, but you have to admit, money is nice to have. Especially when the other option is a three year old who wees on your bed, then puts a pillow over it to hide it.
But seriously. If we weren't here, or even, if Willow wasn't here- he could have saved up a house deposit. He could travel so much easier, and more frequently.... but he doesn't complain. He just accepts that Willow and I are part of his life, and we cost money. Like taxes or something.

Because we're recognized as being in partnership and because of M's income, we don't get much money from the government. (I'm not complaining. Just stating. We are very lucky that we can afford to live off one wage.) We're only eligible for a bit of family tax benefit and child care rebate, plus the child support that we get. M pays for everything- well, 98% or so- out of his pocket- feeding, clothing, rent, uni text books for me, treats for Willow, dinners out- everything. We don't live lavishly, but that crap adds up... like when Willow got down here, he had to buy her several long sleeved shirts and all her winter clothes. $5 here, $20 here- M probably spent $150- $200 on seasonal stuff for Willow. (Flannelette pjs, swimmers, warm shoes, warm pants, long sleeved shirts, jackets etc. Remember, we moved here from Darwin... so she had none of this stuff.) Sometimes he has to miss out on what he wants because of unavoidable Willow-or-Christine related expenses. Like my text books for uni. ($200-$300 a semester.) (Also: he's never pressured me to get a job while studying, even though he got a pay cut of $100 a week this month. He does tell me to hurry up and graduate, but that's different.)

He also chooses to not go out much. Like.... maybe one every three months he'll go out for a night with friends. Maybe once a month he'll go out for a day without me. But the rest of the time, he chooses to stay home, with us. Even though "home with us" means he can't watch tv after dinner, until Willow goes to bed, or he can't play GTA while Willow is awake, which means he gets maybe two hours of free time to watch or play what he wants on tv. The rest of the time- he gives to us.


We were lucky enough to be invited to a wedding recently, and I think it's a perfect example of M- he went 33 hours without sleeping, and didn't complain. Because we had to pick up Willow the next morning from a friend's house, he couldn't drink at his mate's wedding- and again, he didn't complain. He could of. Willow is not his biological child, and because of her, it really inconvenienced his plans. He could have just left us at home. But he didn't... The next day we went to the war memorial and he patiently took her around and explained everything to her... he does this a lot. He makes the effort to show her stuff, to teach her stuff, to expand her world. In the mornings, when he comes home from a 12 hour night shift + 2 hours driving time, he doesn't complain about getting her breakfast and milk, or dropping her at childcare... heck, this guy lets me sleep in all the time. He's magnificent.

You can't even tell he's seriously sleep deprived at all. 

I don't know how to wrap up a post like this. Except, I think this is our "happily ever after" that they don't go into detail with in fairy tales. The domestic bliss. The boring bits that are so good and so joyous. The friendship and partnership and comradeship.