good bad ugly

Good.

• M (mostly) swapping almonds for lollies. He started on the lollies at work because he quit smoking, and he need to do SOMETHING, especially with night shifts. His lolly intake is waaaaaaaaaaay down. So proud.
• lovingearth Luvju maqui raw organic chocolate. Um yum. It's true what they say- with a good quality dark chocolate, a little goes a loooong way. I've had this 120g bar that I've been nibbling on in the fridge since I returned to little town.
• Questioning what is in my/ our food. I downloaded the chemical maze app- it's the only app I've ever paid for, and it's... a real eye opener. This year I've been trying to cut down on numbers (and meat) (and processing/ chemicals, basically) in our diet, and to read ingredients more. You know those mysterious numbers in ingredients list? I type them into the app, and it tells me what it is, and ranks it- totally safe, only in moderation, avoid, SERIOUSLY AVOID THIS. For example, one of the preservatives in our frozen pizza dough is banned in infant food because it's really not that great for you.
• Willow's gained a bit of weight. She's always been really skinny and scrawny looking, but recently, she's really filled out.
• Our pantry is being slowly emptied of prepacked food. Winning.
• Started reading Death By Rubber Ducky. Another eye opener. One that raises more questions than it answers, especially about Willow. ie, she was diagnosed with gynaecomastia (breasts when you shouldn't have breasts) as a baby. (It's since gone away, but was noticeable when she was several months old, so it wasn't a newborn thing.) I asked the nurse why, and she suggested it could be a chemical in food, or hormones in my breast milk. I've always wondered, which one? I know it's fairly minor- Willow is a girl, after all- but what chemical is making my baby daughter produce breasts? What else is happening to her that I can't see? What is happening in my body that I'm producing too much of oestrogen? Or is it all a random thing?
• Willow's potty training is going really, really well.

Bad:

• ... I like Willow peeing in her nappies when we're out in public. I hate public restrooms. Am I a bad mother?
• Neighborhood disputes. Urgh. Don't drag me in, but I can't help but get dragged in when you're causing trouble for no good reason.
• Psyching myself up for a purge. We don't keep much junk around the house since there is no room, but there's stuff we ought to get rid of, but can't.... *sigh* The lack of cupboards or drawers in this house are really, really hard. Example: We're storing bathroom stuff- like towels, and cleaning products, and medicine- all in our bedroom. What the hell. We've moved the big shelving that we had in the bathroom into our bedroom, and moved Willow's wardrobe into the bathroom, and put the shelves back up, so it's a bookcase again. A bookcase without books. It just holds bathroom stuff we use all the time, like make up and Willow's bathtoys.
• Willow's a bit freaked out. The wardrobe is used to hold her dresses, except now she doesn't understand why her beloved wardrobe is in the bathroom. She assumes her dresses are now gone.
• I had a really, really bad dream that involved Willow drinking toilet cleaner. I was so panicked that when I managed to haul myself out of the dream, I was thrashing around so much (I was panicking) that I kicked M in his boy bits.
• Neighbour 3 moved away. ;_;
• Neighbour 6 is moving away, along with their two year old daughter whom Willow plays with. Willow is a bit sad to loose her most reliable friend.

Ugly:

• The train wreck that are the Mr & Mrs at Number 6. When Willow heard them fighting, she pulled our sliding door shut to try and block out the noise. Couples disagree, that's normal. We all live close together, so we generally pretend we don't hear that stuff. But... their arguing is ugly. Lots of swearing and spite. And they yell really, really loud.
• There are a few issues with Number 6. I've written about them on facebook, so I won't write it about it again... But.... while Willow might loose a friend, I'm kinda glad they're gone, in a way. It means I don't have them in front of me constantly, and me wringing my hands constantly, wondering if I should call DoCs. But... since they've been evicted, they're going back to her mother's house. And... I think that might be good thing. She mentioned that her dad "had a go" at her for living in filth, and various family member's aren't happy about the state of her house. And, ok, so they'll be blacklisted for 5 years, but maybe in that time they'll learn the basics of financial planning?
• I helped to clean her house. My skin is still crawling at the memory of mould and cockroaches. The worst part was that Mrs 6 was aware and disgusted about the state of the house (she was cleaning by using tongs because she was too grossed out to touch stuff) and yet it was like, dude, you've chosen to live like this for several months.
• Willow's poop cake. This was a while ago, but M and I are still traumatised. We can't bear to leave her alone in her room for long periods of time anymore.

Imse Vimse

Willow loves spiders. M isn't so keen, and I'm on the fence. They're an important part of the food web, you know? I know where the red backs like to live, so I'd rather keep Willow away than constantly poison the area. Live, and let live. However, that somewhat changed when M found a red back had spun a web from the roof onto the handles of Willow's bike... he found this by walking outside and bumping into the spider at eye level. I believe his exact words were "all bets are off now, spiders," and I agreed. This isn't our agreement, spiders.

Last night Willow climbed onto our bed to snuggle (she knows I'm powerless to refuse her when she says "But I just want to snuggle with you!") and to play doctor on her toys. She brought out her sheep, and we fixed his broken leg, so then she brought out her spider and laid him on his back.
"What's wrong with Spider?" I asked.
"He got sprayed," Willow explained.

And now I feel bad about all those spider deaths. Willow is also pretty against killing ants, but she loves chopping up anything she finds in our garden while digging.

Willow says....

Look mummy! I did a poo on the floor! I took a photo of it!

bogged.

Willow, discovering why we always tell her to not walk there. She got bogged (can you see how deeply her left foot has sunk in?!) and freaked out.

We're a bit stuck with the garden at the moment. M is disappointed that all our veggies have drowned in the rain. What I would really like to do is to lower this garden bed- which seems crazy, I know! It gets enough water... but this water has no where to go, and since this bed is *higher* than our courtyard's paved area... you can imagine how that goes. After lowering it ever so slightly, I'd love to put in a raised garden bed.

But, we're in a rental. There's only so much worth doing in a house that we are in for only a few years. M and I often hope that I (since I'm an only child, and M has two older brothers) have a super rich, currently unknown relative on death's door. You know, the one's that emails from Nigeria always tell you about...

couch cover.

An attempt at a cover for Willow's little flip out couch. M's mother gifted us this little couch last year, and despite it's age, it has a lot of life left in it, structurally. And, to be honest, there was nothing wrong with the cover- it was clean... I just wanted to keep it that way. (and, you know, make the whole thing blend in a little bit more. Less garish pink.)

I like it. There are a few things I'd change next time I sew this up- mostly just around the arms, but I don't mind the casual slouchy fit. I love the fabric. It's a natural linen colour with those multi coloured polka dots- it hides the dirt so well, but still looks pretty.

Willow was pretty delighted with her updated sofa. Now, onto the next project...

that family

We became that family. You know the ones who go to home improvement centres on a Saturday and get those large kiddy trolleys?

M and I agreed that our youth was definitely over, and we were horribly domesticated.

we spend a lot of time here.

Things Given

For our birthdays (yes, back in march, shame on me), Emily sent up her zine, an awesome octopus necklace that Willow instantly claimed for her own, and several ceramic elephants to add to our collection since Willow LOVES her ceramic elephants.

Willow gave our mail man flowers, since she's convinced he's the one responsible for all these gifts, despite me trying to explain he's just the delivery dude.

Willow and the fish.

There's not a whole lot that bothers me. I don't mind heights, spiders, being home alone or the dark. But fish? Fish give me the creeps. I don't cook a lot of fish, but we eat a lot of fish out of cans.

Then M's mate Todd gave me a whole fish. Very fresh. No time like the present (when the present is Lent or Good Friday or whatever it was) to get over my aversion, right?

1. Willow happily caressed the fish and put it in her bike basket. 
2. She loved digging at the eyeball. Then she kept putting her fingers in her mouth.
3. Making her own seasoning. I had pounded some lemongrass, kaffir lime, chilli sauce, salt, garlic, pepper and other things together with my mortar and pestle. Willow appropriated some of my lemongrass and began cutting it up and stuffing it into the slits I cut on the fish.
4. Squeezing some lemon juice over the fish.
5. She used the lemons to wipe out my mortar. Smart girl. That didn't occur to me.
6. Eating the fish. Obviously, a whole lot later. During the baking time she kept asking me if she could look at her fish, or eat her fish.
7. Least inspiring photo of food ever. I'm really, really paranoid about bones, so in the search for bones, the lovely firm flesh turns into mush. I served my delicious fish mush with some noodles and kale.

I don't think I have a future as a food blogger. But you know what? It felt good to successfully get over something I've never done. I'm proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone. So there.

As for Willow? She keeps asking to have fish with noodles again.

Flash back friday: Willow with green things.

Photos from Willow's trip around Australia last year. Willow is now horrified that she was ever photographed with the "monster."

This and that.

These. I want them. So does Willow, I bet. She LOVES balloon animals.

Things done instead of a real post:

• Cooking my way through Donna's Hay new cookbook, Light and Easy. It's amazing.
• Searching for sauerkraut. Another thing this backwater's supermarket doesn't sell.
• Psyching myself up to try new fermented foods, because they're good for you. 
• I've also recently realised that I really like pickled things.
• M keeps overreacting to our house inspections. They're not like an army room inspection. They're NOT going to check if we cleaned the air con, or if our cupboards are neat.
• Another recent realisation? I don't really like eating meat. And... I'm doing ok without it, to be honest. I have a habit of eating meat, a habit ingrained in me that I have to eat meat to make it a meal. But.... I'm doing ok with out it. Honestly. I can't imagine calling myself a vegetarian, or even a pescetarian, I just feel like a normal person who has scaled way back on their meat eating habits.
• If I ask Willow what she feels like eating, it either a) fish with noodles b) noodles with prawns or c) white rice.  (The noodles with prawns is actually miso soup with dried shrimp.) Sometimes, she'll simply ask to eat cheese.
• Torn between giving Willow her independence... and maintaining control over what she eats. On one hand, I like the idea of her having her own shelf (assuming I can find the space?!) where she can get her own healthy snacks. ie, I'll keep lunch boxes there with trail mix, water bottles, fruit. On the other, I'm paranoid she'll eat all the good stuff (dried fruit) and leave the less desirable stuff (grains) behind.
• Fish. Willow LOVES fishing. We've been going fishing a lot now. When we're not out fishing, we're playing fishing at home with some blue polar fleece and a cheap magnetic fishing set. 
• Cheap magnetic fishing set? Yeah. It's already falling apart. SOS. Suggestions for making our own?
• Willow has a tan. I noticed the other day that it makes her eyes greener, and it's quite pretty. Then I went back to panicking about skin cancer.
• Proof reading a friend's assignments. It's getting easier since we're not in the same classes this semester (since I pulled out.) Previously I'd proof read her assignments and bite my lips because I'll see a point she was getting at, but not quite hitting that nail on her head. And... I don't know. I can definitely correct grammar, but as a fellow student, I can't write it or improve it...
• The endless puddle moppings aren't so bad anymore. Onwards we go with potty training.
• Willow loves helping me to cook eggs. 
• Willow's become quite mature and responsible lately. She's been very good with picking up her toys, and putting dirty plates or cups in the sink, and telling us or Lexi what is ok to touch, and what isn't. 
• Sundae Bar. Yes please. Or maybe in our house it could be a smoothie bar. I don't know. 
• Speaking of bars, I've decided that Mel really needs a juice bar at her wedding. I mean, the girl makes a fresh juice every day.
• Also planning Mel's hen's day. Kayaking/ canoeing with her mother, and anyone else who wants to kayak/ canoe. 
• ... How hard is it to kayak canoe? I mean, I'm blessed with natural fitness and endurance, but "natural fitness" and "health" can only get you so far. Mel and her mum practically live at a gym. Should I, maybe, start doing some push ups before the hen's day? Or something?
• Driving to Newcastle. Sometimes we just hang out at the shopping centre, which is what Willow loves best. She loves playing in the playground and making new friends.
• Bestest dried organic apricots in the world. Nothing like the ones you'd be familiar with- bright orange and leathery. These are plump and sweet and mmm. Something else we like to get in Newcastle. 
• Maitland Markets. Less said, the better.
• Gardening. There's always a hole somewhere to dig or a weed to pull out.
• Still playing doctor with Willow.
• Many, many books to read, and I just purchased a few more. One by Ina May, one on Montessori, two on vegetarian cooking, one about belonging, one by Tobsha Learner, and one about parenting around the globe.
• I'm pretty sure Mel took me to a $2.50 book store as revenge for me taking her to a second pant book store.
• Bubble Tea.... or more like bubble soup. OM OM OM GONE.
• Walking around the neighborhood.

sun dogs

We got lucky and saw a sun dog.

day trip by train

I had to go up and down those stairs. A lot. Willow's been asking to go on a bus and/or a train, so we did both one day. Just because we could. Consider it a trial run for when we train to Sydney...

Mark's birthday

Mark had a birthday. All the way back in Feb. I also have photos to share from Willow's birthday, and Easter, and our last trip to Sydney, and a fishing trip, and Willow drinking 11 teaspoons worth of sugar in the form of undiluted Sprite and crawling up the walls and.... you get the idea. I'd rather live the a life that's somewhat worth blogging about over a life where I have lots of time to blog.

Can you tell that Willow was delighted with this whole birthday party thing?

Ignore the number of candles on the cake. I think I hit around 24 and decided that M mightn't notice if I was a few short. He totally did. He requested a rainbow cake, like one I made him for his birthday a few years ago, when we were just neighbors, as it was the most impressive cake he's seen (or so he claims.) I used "natural" dyes instead of brighter synthetic ones, so the colours weren't as vibrant as they were last time.

Still, it was delicious.

Nostalgia Festival.

We went to Kurri Kurri's Nostalgia festival and gawked at the fashions and vintage cars. Or rather, M and I did. Willow just wanted her face painted. Then we all gawked at this cupcakes from Fantasy Cupcakes.
I had the dark chocolate cherry ripe one, but only ate a third because it was so rich, so I made Mark finish it off. Then Willow only ate about a quarter of her cupcake, so we made Mark finish that off too.
Willow kept going "cooooooooookie!" like the Cookie monster while eating this.

seeing the grandparents off.

 

 Farmer's market, pictured:

1. Slow roasted chicken with lime and chilli jam empanada.
2. Wooden battle axes. Be still my beating heart. I am in love.
3. Wooden swords. This guy also makes wooden shields. There are a huge variety of swords and axes. Some are cheap and plain, some are larger, some are smaller, some are more decorative.
4. Orange juice and the band who play every week. M and I both enjoy their music. Mum asked them to play Waltzing Matilda for Willow.

Farmer's market, not pictured:

- My unwavering love for the farmer's market. I would LOVE to live walking distance away from a fresh produce market. 

- Fermented sausages. Like, OMG, WTF. AMAZING. I've been trying to get my courage up for the past year to give these a shot. They're traditional fermented sausages (like a chorizo or salami), and you can store them for up to two years without refrigeration or synthetic chemicals of any sort. Just the perfect balance of good vs. bad bacteria. Mind blown. They're really great for picnics or whatever, because you don't need to worry about keeping them cool.... so it's like the convience of Spam lunch meat, but classier and tastier. I have one sitting in my pantry as we speak.

- WHERE HAS ALL THE KALE GONE? Not even Coles or Woolworthes seem to have any in stock. It's supposed to grow year round...

 

Frontline Hobbies, pictured:

1. Where you lock up bikes. Willow loved playing on and around it.
2. Big Lego man.
3. Inside the store. They have play tables out, with toys on them, which is amazing.
4. Toy horses. I have no idea how to spell this German brand, but they make the best plastic toy animals. They're just really, really good quality. Normally when we go, I'll get Willow a toy or two. Frontline Hobbies isn't the place to go if you want 100 plastic toy animals for $10. Everything there is really good quality. I wouldn't say it's over priced, but you do get what you pay for, and the prices are comparable to online prices.
5. They have a lego table, two train tables, a rocket ship, a play kitchen, doll house stuff plus more all out on display, ready to play with. The rocket ship is pretty rad, but so are the train tables.
6. My mother, looking at all the shelves, and Willow with a train derailment.

More Frontline Hobbies Photos:

1. Dioramas. These are behind glass, so they don't photograph too well. But the detail and professionalism of them? Amazing. 
2. Diorama.
3. Diorama
4. Willow found the play kitchen and never wanted to leave again.
5. This game looked really cool. Willow and I play memory at home, and she LOVES it.
6. Mum wanted some photos of her with Willow.
7. Willow didn't really want photos with her paw paw, she wanted to go play.

Train station photos:

1. Detail at the train station.
2. Willow.
3. My mother wanted a photo of the three of them. It was hard to get one where everyone had a nice expression on at the same time.
4. Intercity train to Sydney. The Intercity train has two levels, and the first and last carriages are quiet carriages. Quiet carriages are amazing. If you have no idea why this is amazing, you don't obviously don't catch public transport enough.
5. Selfies.
6. Willow wanted to know what the dangly thing in the bell was.
7. Willow can recognise "w" and was wondering why her name was on the train seats.
8. Clock tower.

Again, more of the "sorry I didn't upload these sooner."