plans.

Willow will be 4 in two weeks and a bit. 4 is an age where they really have an opinion on what they want, isn't it? I asked Willow a while ago what what sort of birthday cake she wanted, and she said she wanted a rainbow banana cake. Easy. That's, like, banana bread with colourful icing, right? I can do that. She's also changed it to being a cake with a transformer on top, no mum, a fairy. A fairy on top. With rainbow sides. 
I have no idea how to ice rainbow sides on a cake. That sounds like effort. I'm not very skilled at baking or icing.

Happily, four is also an age with a really short attention span, and I know whatever cake I make Willow- as long as it's fabulous enough- will probably meet with her approval. I don't want to go too far into Disney Fairy territory, because most of Willow's friend's are boys, and I don't want to alienate them, or reinforce the idea that certain themes are feminine or masculine.

So, the ideas:
- A woodland theme. Because fairies and elves and Willow likes foxes. Also, I got these toadstool candles from Lark on sale on boxing day, with the vague idea of using them as birthday candles. However, odd numbers tend to look more aesthetically pleasing than even, so I might save these for when she turns 5. Maybe. I was visualizing a cake something like this- chocolate, with chocolate icing, and desiccated coconut dyed green sprinkled on top, and a scattering of plastic toys. Easy.
- Sprinkles, in keeping with the rainbow theme, like this or this. Both are very charming. However, I have noticed the colour on sprinkles can bleed after a while, which is unfortunate.
- Rainbow in smarties/skittles whatever. Like this, or this. Willow likes decorating, so this seems like something she could really enjoy.

Willow's having her party at the local zoo. They don't charge for venue hire, and I've asked everyone to pay entry in lieu of a gift. Finger's crossed that our cake turns out ok, we don't end up with too much food or not enough, we have enough cool water to go around and cups, that the day lives up to Willow's expectations but isn't over the top, the weather is lovely and.... the wolves don't eat the children.

Willow says...

Yesterday for some reason Willow became very anti trees. Repeatedly on our drive (we went fishing) she said she didn't like trees, there are too many trees, and we should cut them down because she doesn't like jungles.

She's also taken a shine to an abc3 news reporter. First she was all "oooh, she's pretty!"
"why do you think she's pretty, willow?"
"Because she's wearing a purple top. Oooh look she says her name is Emma! And she will be back tomorrow!"

If you ask willow her favorite colour she will give you all sorts of colours- black, brown, othertimes she will simply work through the whole spectrum of the rainbow. I have noticed she seems especially fond of sparkly purple- its the glitter gel pen she used up first, its the colour she picked for her earrings, and its a colour she often admires. That said, willow is also into rainbows, if they counts as a colour.

On that note, how cool is THIS wallpaper? Oh yes please. Just for one wall of Willows room, I think.

monday's child.

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

So, obviously, I've made a change to my photos. They're all watermarked. It just seemed like a good idea, for a whole lot of reasons. To be honest, if I had started this blog today, I would do it differently. I probably would use more pseudonyms. Like, since it's called Sundayland, perhaps M could become Mr Monday? And Willow could be Miss Wednesday. It works, based on the initial of the first name.

The idea certainly has potential, except Willow isn't full of woe. She was born on a Sunday and the prophecy of the rhyme certainly suits her. M was actually born on a Monday, while I was born on a Thursday. So who knows? Maybe I'll run with that idea sometime.

Also, culturally, we're not supposed to like Monday's, but M is very likable.

I've also been thinking about what to do with older posts. Delete them all? Put them all on lockdown? Delete all the old photos? There is a lot of posts- like, it could actually be easier to delete the whole blog, and start again.

I guess these changes have been brought about for a few different reasons. When I started I was very lonely and isolated, so blogging was a nice outlet for me... like hey, I might be really unhappy in my life, but at least I can make it sound ok. I don't need to fool anyone any more. I'm more aware of internet security- I've always been pretty savvy, but now I'm even more paranoid. The more you learn... I also have less time. Like, seriously. When I first started, I didn't have many mummy friends, or hobbies. I was a little lost. Now, I find my life really fulfilling. Willow is also older, so there is just a whole lot less to write about, as well.

What do you think? Should we become the new Adams family, with Miss Wednesday and Mr Monday and Ms Sunday?

Home again

Ah, home. The sweetest place on earth, isn't it? We've actually been home since Friday night, but I only feel like we have unwound now, and returned to our routine... Well, almost. Willow had her first dance class today, and returns to childcare this week, while I return to uni at the start of march. This semester I will be studying human bioscience, primary health care and mental health. Human bioscience and chemistry are my weakest points, although I find them fascinating- I just struggle with names and the abstract nature of it. In my day to day life this means after several years I can't remember if my friends husband is Mitchell or Michael, which is merely embarrassing, but in nursing means I get, say, oxytocin and oxycodone helplessly mixed up. Since a lot of things share similar chemical names... A chemist I will not make. 

The other nice thing about uni is the fruit and veg co op: a generous box of seasonal fruit and veg, for the low low price of $15 a box. M and I normally supplement what's in the box with more bananas, but its usually a good haul for our fruit loving household. Its also a great way to avoid getting in a fruit and veg rut. 

Plus, it makes us feel so hip, being part of a co op. 

good and bad.

I think we all have the tendency to focus on our successes, rather than our failures, especially when we blog. Being online, or on facebook, makes that easy.... When Willow does a good drawing, it gets shared on facebook. What doesn't get shared? The drawings where she just did squiggles, or the time she decided to tip all the water into the paint container, which promptly split on the floor...

Sometimes I have the pleasure of interacting with people whose children are grown, and they frown when they see a kid playing up. My kids never behaved like that, they say, shaking their head. People these days just don't know how to discipline their kids. 

Yes, there are some dodgy as all hell parents these days. But there have been dodgy as all hell parents throughout history. Heck, in the Bible, Lot offers his virgin daughter's up to be gang raped by the men of Sodom and yes, God makes all the men go blind because rape is wrong, but Lot still offered them. Today though? There is so much choice and so much convenience. The most obvious example would be food. People thought I was odd for packing food for my eight hour train ride.... even though my food was delicious and healthy, and the food you get on the train is not. So there's that choice- to pack or buy? Once all you could get was pretty much water when you went out- now you can choose juices, cola, lemonade, sparkling water, soda water, sports drink, fancy pants drinks with licensed characters aimed at children, poppas... Companies are constantly trying to sell us crap- 100% natural! Yeah, but high in sugar, which is natural. No artificial colours! Err yes. But "natural" colours can still be pretty bad for you. After all, Annatto is from a tree, but it's just as bad as any synthetic colouring- heck, it affects more people than artificial colouring does! So I feel like it's a bit of an uphill battle to make an informed choice... Ok. Drinks was a bad analogy, since the obvious best choice is water. But... to vaccinate or not? Organic or not? Eggs and peanuts in the womb or not? So many choices. I think we have very different battles now, too. 

Anyways. The good and the bad. I try to write about both, because I think we owe it to ourselves, to other parents- hey look, I'm not perfect. I'm not a constant stream of pinterest worthy projects. Sometimes I hear other mothers screaming at their kids in the shops, and I wonder if I sound like that? What do I sound like when I discipline my kid to other people? How does Willow come across to other people? Annoying? Charming? Well behaved?

Anyways. This is perhaps a bit confusing, my desire to write about the good and bad, as well as musing on how we have so many choices now, choices that previous generations didn't have. We also are more open to attack these days. Announce on an internet forum that you, say, circumcised your son because you believe it's cleaner/ his dad is/ religion and you're likely to get blasted by "inactivists" who think you've just mutilated your son. There are groups formed against pretty much every parenting decision you might make, because out there, there are a large group of people who think you're wrong and aren't scared to tell you so.

Baby sleeping in another room? There will be attachment parents who will accuse you of abusing your child.
Baby sleeping in your bed? There will also be parents saying you're abusing your child, by dicing with their life.

Of course, most people are content to let you be. But you don't hear them. You hear the random stranger on the net, blasting you for being a shit parent because you didn't breast feed.

I guess none of us are perfect. None of us can make perfect decisions. 

a year of less and more- the clothing edition.

Oh yes. Clothing. It's a big business, isn't it? It's very easy, as a female, to acquire a lot of clothing. I certainly didn't think I had a lot of clothing, since I don't follow fashions or buy stuff every season- but I still have over 200 pieces of clothing, excluding home clothes and underwear.

I think I ended up with far more clothes than M for four main reasons:
- There is a larger choice. Much larger choice. M gets to pick betweeen polos, t shirts or buttoned up shirts. In necklines alone, I get to choose from boat, v, u, scoop, sweet heart, turtleneck, square, plunging, bateu, round, round split, cowl, draped, halter, one shouldered, portrait, scalloped, cross over, diamond, keyhole, asymmetrical, wide...
- Other stuff. I cannot wear the same bra under all these necklines... actually, I do. Because the last time I wore a strapless bra, it was so tight (the shop assistants swore to me it was supposed to be tight) it actually cut off my circulation so badly, I ended up with these weird fat deposits under my arm. Like blisters, because the flow of bodily fluids were so badly restricted. Ok, so I have only regular bras, and I refuse to go strapless, ever. I also refuse to go braless, ever, and I can't be stuffed buying all different types of bras to go under different types of tops. But even then, I still need other stuff. Like a slip to go under a white dress. Or bike pants, to go under dresses and skirts. Pantyhose, in various deniers. Camis or singlets, to go under various tops. You get the idea.
- Then there is a wider range of cuts, and fabrics, making them suitable for vastly different events. Women's clothes are generally harder to dress down or up, compared to men's. Example: cocktail attire, going out for drinks wear, clubbing wear, after 5 wear, business casual, dressy casual, business formal, a job interview, graduation clothes, "friend's wedding at the beach", "friends wedding at church," and "friend's baby's baptism," would have me reaching for vastly different items of clothing. M can get away with a long sleeved buttoned up shirt, men's dress shoes or non scrungy closed in shoes, good jeans or formal pants, and perhaps a tie for all of these events. 5 items- 9 if you include cologne, a watch, underpants and socks- has all his dressing up needs covered for the next 20 years or so. But me? I could wear more than 9 items in the one outfit. (Dress, cardigan, knickers, bra to match the colour of dress and neckline of dress, slip, panty hose, socks (because I'm weird like that) bike shorts (it's a modesty thing under my skirts) shoes (to match the dress and occasion) handbag (again, matching the dress, shoes and occasion) make up (eyeliner, foundation, mascara, lipstick, eyeshadow) necklace, earrings, other accessories (hair? broach? scarf? etc). Also, it's faux pas for a girl to wear black to a wedding or baptism (sorry little black dress), and colour to a funeral (sorry, all purpose red dress), unless otherwise specified. Unless the wedding has a black theme, I guess, but even then it doesn't seem right. Oh, and never wear white to a wedding, unless you're the bride. Also, fashionistas will argue that certain colours belong in certain seasons ie you can't wear winter colours to a summer wedding.
-  Oh yeah. Colours. There is a larger colourway. Men's clothes normally come in 50 shades of drab. Girls clothes come in every colour of the rainbow because SEASONS ARE SOMETHING WE NEED TO FOLLOW AND COLOURS CHANGE EVERY SEASON AND EVERY YEAR apparently (this dates back to Japan's Heian times, the idea that one should wear certain colours for certain seasons) so therefore, you end up buying more clothes in different colours to match other stuff. Like, I can't wear my red cardigan with my purple dress, clearly I need a different cardigan. Also, the blue shoes I always wear with my red dress aren't suitable for this event, because they're strappy heels, and it's a winter event held on grass.
At this point, M's given up and just handed me a $20 dollar note, going ok, fine, whatever. But this is bigger this us, darling. I cannot go to your friend's spring wedding wearing the same outfit from my friend's winter engagement party because they require totally different clothes. No, I can't wear the heels I already have, because they're green. You know I can't wear green and red. That's for Christmas only...

These four reasons- larger choice, different expectation from society, colour matching and accessories(? Undergarmenting?) kinda explains why I have so much more clothing than M, even when you knock out the 5th reason of "advertising is constantly telling me to buy more clothes." So, the idea of shedding so much clothing is kinda scary... will I still be socially acceptable if I wear the same four things to every fancy event for the next 10 years? Will people give me the side eye and refuse to be my friend? Will I be able to make a good impression? But... I'm going ok so far. I've gotten down to about 80 items of clothing. It's not so bad, to be honest. Once I started, it was ok. Therapeutic. I've hit a wall, because I don't want to go through my winter stuff just yet. I just don't think I'll make a rational decision during a heat wave. (WINTER CLOTHES! Who needs winter clothes! It's so hot, how could I ever be so cold?)

So yeah. Perhaps when I get down to 60, I'll do some sort of post about what my wardrobe looks like then. But I also wanted to make sure people didn't think I was a witch who carted 8 large bags of her daughter's toys to the op shop, with no thought to my own junk collections. ;) I've also culled a lot of my books and linens (towels and bedlinen).  The next stop is our kitchen, which probably isn't too bad.

Anyone else doing a wardrobe clean out?

2014, a year of less (and more).

I've been playing around with this post for several months- since after Willow's 3rd birthday, in fact. I've written several drafts but never posted them. I couldn't find the right words, or tone, or explanations. The posts were always too long, too wordy, too complicated. So then Christmas came, and Willow was drowned in gifts again, and I've decided that I need to write this post, once and for all, before her next birthday.

So here is the thing. We have a lot of stuff. Most of us do. We are privileged, because we are the top of the food chain. We are a consumer society, we know this, but few stop to think where our crap comes from, and where it's going. As the Story of Stuff explains so well, we work on a linear system. Our privilege is built on other people's suffering, on their low wages, on unsafe work conditions, on children working, on slave-like conditions (or outright slavery). And for what? So I can buy Willow 2 tops for $5 each?

I've been decluttering for a while. I started on Willow's toys first, since 90% of our battles with her are over material goods. I think I've op shopped 2/3rds- about 8 large garbage bags, although we got a LOT more over Christmas, yikes. The less stuff Willow has, the less arguments we have, and the better kept her toys are ie it's easier to find a missing puzzle piece. She's also much better behaved. I've been moving through our house, and it's so much better. Truly. Easier to clean. Less dust.

We also want to buy a house so badly. Willow wants a brick house with a beautiful garden. I want timber floor boards and a beautiful old house on a large block, and M wants something modern and not haunted. To go cold turkey on consumerism will help up save for our dream home, and as a bonus, it will make moving easier!

Anyways, here is what we've decided.
- Max one item per family per event. ie Mr and Mrs Doe and their kids Jane and Joe can only give her one thing for Christmas, and one for her birthday, instead of a gift or two each time. This applies to everyone.
- No gifts throughout the year, "just because."
- I'm going to cull my wardrobe down to 60 items. That's for another post.
- Cull Willow's toys down again. M and I both like Willow not having tons of toy "accessories." The best example I can think of are Barbies, with their dozens of shoes, hair brushes and various other stuff. She doesn't lack for toys, but no child really needs to have their own toy shop worth of toys.
- Cull a few other things we have lying around. Like, some stuff in the kitchen that we never use, or bed sheets we never use because I don't like the colour.
- I'm not going to buy anything new this year for Willow or myself. There will be exceptions ie, uniforms, textbooks (which I try to get second hand anyway). But... I can make a lot of stuff (trying to not buy more fabric as well) and we get a lot of hand me downs, so clothes from last winter should still fit her. I'm not going to let Willow freeze so mummy can make some political statement.
- If I do need to buy something, it will be second hand. For example: navy coloured pants for uni. I'm not going to sew them because a) I hate sewing synthetic fabrics and would rather jab a needle into my eye and b) buying synthetic fabric then sewing it isn't all that cost effective. On the other hand, I got a lovely pair of second hand navy pants off ebay, Portmans, and made in Australia for $15.
- Buying local is a priority for us. If not local, than second hand.

Anyways, this probably seems crazy to some people. But I'm ok with this. I feel ok with this. I've been doing this for a month now. I've only purchased a new pair of shorts, because I only have one pair of shorts, and heatwave, so yeah. (Reasons why I got rid of a lot of dresses and skirts to follow in a later post, along with more explaining about why I'm doing this.)

So, have you made any new year resolutions? Have you kept them into January?