I hate you and I hate play dough.

Play dough is one of those things where you really, really need to KISS- Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Play dough should never be more complex than dough in one colour, and maybe a rolling pin and some cookie cutters.

But for some reason, the makers of the play dough brand keep trying to convince us we need more. We need special desert versions, and special fun packs, and all sort of stupid packs which are LIES for the following reasons:

1. On the packet, you'll see the children on the packet making, say, amazing cupcakes topped with multi coloured sprinkles. LIES. Maybe some uber gifted older children out there make things like that, but it never seems to work out. Plus, if you make the rainbow sprinkles, how are you going to pick them apart again later? Because if you don't, you end up with ugly yucky play dough because all the colours mix together. Next time you see a play dough packet, look at the pictures. Look past how amazing the sets look, and realise that they all involve mixing the colour together.
2. There is only one play dough brand, and it's amazing and non toxic so that's what everyone must buy. Plus it's cheap and easy. LIES. You can make play dough EXACTLY LIKE THAT, EQUALLY KID SAFE, in your own damn kitchen, for even cheaper.
3. Plus, you can go to the op shop and get cookie cutters super cheap. I think we got 50 cutters for... $2? Then someone gave us the exact same set, except brand new.
4. The fancy play dough gadgets take longer to clean than children spend playing with them.

Admittedly, I'm writing this post in a pretty cranky mood. Willow and I just had an argument over play dough, in which she completely refused to tidy it up because she was too tired. LIES. So I said if she didn't pick it up, it would dry up like the last two packets. She shrugged and walked off. FURY RAGE MURDER. So I told her if she left this play dough to dry out, it would be her third tub, her third strike, and she would never get any play dough ever again. And she was all "Ok."
Plus, I jammed my thumb really hard in the extruder while trying to clean the fancy thing out. MORE FURY RAGE MURDER.

I sense another op shop run coming on.