Gunner.

"Gunner was a stray male kelpie who was found under a destroyed mess hut at Darwin Air Force base on 19 February 1942, after Darwin was bombed.

Leading Aircraftman Percy Westcott, one of the two airmen who found Gunner, took ownership of him and became his master and handler. At first, the dog was badly shaken after the bombing, but being only six months old he quickly responded to the men's attention. About a week after, Gunner first demonstrated his remarkable hearing skills. While the men were working on the airfield, Gunner became agitated and started to whine and jump. Not long afterwards, the sound of approaching aeroplane engines was heard by the airmen. A few minutes later a wave of Japanese raiders appeared in the skies above Darwin and began bombing and strafing the town.

Two days later, Gunner began whimpering and jumping again and not long afterwards came another air attack. This set the pattern for the months that followed. Long before the sirens sounded, Gunner would get agitated and head for shelter. Gunner's hearing was so acute he was able to warn airforce personnel of approaching Japanese aircraft up to 20 minutes before they arrived and before they showed up on the radar. Gunner never performed when he heard the allied planes taking off or landing; only when he heard enemy aircraft as he could differentiate the sounds of allied from enemy aircraft.

Gunner was so reliable that Wing Commander McFarlane gave approval for Westcott to sound a portable air raid siren whenever Gunner's whining or jumping alerted him.

Gunner became such a part of the airforce that he slept under Westcott's bunk, showered with the men in the shower block, sat with the men at the outdoor movie pictures, and went up with the pilots during practice take-off."

Information from wikipedia. 

So there. Be kind to animals. You never know what they are capable of, given a chance.

The time we actually were ok with a Disney Princess.

While up in Darwin, my parents took Willow to see Frozen. Afterwards she saw the main characters on a magazine, and got all excited to see Elsa. Now we've downloaded the movie for her, and she's watched it more then I ever want to admit, and Willow is officially Elsa mad.

Anna (L) and Elsa (R).

 As far as Willow is concerned, the whole movie is about Elsa. She doesn't even remember Anna's name, which is strange since Anna features in a lot of more of the movie. Anna is the "one who dies all the time." As in, I'm Elsa, so mummy, can you be the other one who dies all the time? Or "But I need someone to play with me! Who else is going to die?"

Willow has been mentioning on an off for about a month now that she doesn't like her curly hair anymore, and she wants straight hair, or blonde hair. After watching Frozen, she keeps wetting her hair and brushing it straight and pretending it's blonde. (This dates back to an incident where we decided to straighten Willow's hair as a lark, with a straightening iron. Willow was initially apprehensive, saying she liked her curls, but we assured her it was temporary, and didn't she want straight hair like her friend Amber? She sat down perfectly still for 15 minutes until it was done, and then she nearly cried in disappointment when she saw her hair wasn't blonde like Amber's, just straight.) Willow asks me most days to give her "Elsa hair" which.... is tricky, but she seems content with a side ponytail.

She's also a huge fan of Elsa's magical powers, her sparkly blue dress, and her song "Let it Go." Her favourite part is Elsa's cape. I don't mind Elsa's dress- it's something she created with her magic, to reflect who she really is, and after she creates it, she gets such a confidence boost, evidenced by the way she struts through the ice palace she's created and tosses her hair. Before that, she was such a still, stationary character. So, wear whatever makes you feel fabulous, girls. (But don't expect to be comfortable climbing a mountain covered in 20ft of snow while wearing a dress.) Willow's been unfurling my pilates mat in order to wrap it around herself so she can pretend it's Elsa's dress, and she loves to pretending to be Elsa, building a snow castle. 

Has anyone else noticed how crazy big Disney princesses eyes are getting this decade? Both Elsa and Anna posses massive peepers the size of their neck, while Merida and especially Rapunzel in Tangled have hugely massive eyes. I'm not sure what is with this recent shift to large peepers- and yes, I understand Disney Princesses have traditionally not been drawn to scale, but heck, even Cinderella has a more proportionate face. I really feel like Disney let themselves down with the animation for Frozen- it doesn't do the actors any justice.

Willow is 4.

Willow turned 4 with a bang. 4 year olds sure know how to party! We held her birthday at the local zoo, and they reserved an undercover BBQ area for us. About a dozen of Willow's friends came, with their parents. We spent most of the day scattered about the zoo. There were peacocks and peahens with chicks, there was a walk through aviary, snakes, wombats, bats, various monkeys, goats, sheep, maned wolves, geese, dingos, large lizard things, Tasmanian Devils, wallabies, loads of parrots, koalas, loads of feathers on the ground for kids to collect, and lots of birds to chase (while I trailed behind shouting "IF THAT PEACOCK TURNS ON YOU I WON'T SAVE YOU COS YOU DESERVE IT!")
I'm sure there were more animals, but I missed a lot between setting up and trailing after kids who all set off in a large group, then suddenly split off into 4 different groups going in four different directions. I also didn't take a whole lot of photos, so a few of these are stolen from Laura and Karen, who are better organised than I am.

The zoo ran animal talks and feedings throughout the day, so the kids got to pat a baby wombat, see the monkeys get fed, watch maned wolves and dingos being fed, pat a snake and a alligator etc. Aside from the monkeys being fed and patting the koala, alligator and snake, they didn't hang around long for the talks before running off elsewhere. Willow and one of her friends were absolutely fascinated by the Tasmanian devils, a pair of which spent all day hissing and yowling at us. They also seemed fascinated with the tortoise.

The koala photos were.... interesting. I missed the photo of a lifetime when the koala took Willow's hat off her head and began to chew on it. (I was too busy trying to alert to animal keeper, who was distracted by getting the group of children around the koala organised. I dunno, that cotton can't be good for a koalas digestive tract. What if they made us pay the vet bills because I was the idiot taking photos instead of fishing the hat out of it's mouth?) Willow still talks about the koala that tired to eat her hat at her birthday party. She wants it to eat her hat next year.

The koala was REALLY into Willow. After Willow removed her hat, the koala kept reaching out for Willow's head. (To... pat it? Maul it with it's inch long claws?)

Lesson learnt: It's hard to get a photo of a group of kids when they don't know which camera to look at.

You can tell from these three photos that at least one of the kids REALLY loves to pose for photos, and is really photogenic. I actually bribed the kids for this photo, with a lolly. Not pictured: the two kids who ran off because they really hate having their photo taken. 

I got this group shot while the kids were watching a concrete truck do it's concreting thing right next to us. The zoo staff had informed us that they were concreting today, and offered to help us move, but we decided to stay since we figured kids love that kinda stuff. For a good 20 minutes, they were more enthralled as a group than by anything else the zoo had to offer. 

The adults agreed to either hold the next birthday in a housing estate. Or when they get their driveway concreted. Did I mention the kids were really into this? 

So, uh yes. That is a $5 cake from Woolies- jam with fresh cream, decorated with decorations that vaguely represented Frozen (they were kinda snowflake shaped, silver, blue and/or sparkly.) Willow originally wanted a rainbow cake, but then begged for a cake with Frozen on top. M tried baking her a cake- the first one he iced while it was warm, the second was overcooked. (What do you mean, I have to reduce cooking time for a fan forced oven?)

The zoo has a walk through aviary. It was either really cool or really scary, depending on how you felt about birds.

Oh, and the fake snow? Massive hit. A little goes a long way, and we used up only about half the container. It does make a mess, and most parents commented that they "had never seen anything like it" followed by "what the hell is it?"

It was a good day. Willow wants to have her birthday there next year, which I'm ok with.

right now.

Willow riding her bike to childcare is an exercise in patience. Mummy, my legs are tired, she complains, before we've even left our street. Are you really sure you still want to ride to childcare? Yes.
But, we get there in the end. She is so proud to show off her bike to everyone. Did you see my bike? Did you see the purple butterflies on the seat? I rode all the way here!

Right now, life is busy. We seem to gobble up the days. Willow is at childcare Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I use those days to do all the laundry and clean up, but guess whose back at uni? Mmm. Tuesday is Willow's big day out with Ethan- we normally go library, see friends, do a craft, then the two of them play all day together. Since Bunning's opened, every Saturday and Sunday morning they have free kid's craft. Since I think craft is very important for children, but since I also loathe cleaning up afterwards, this is a heaven sent gift.

Willow's birthday is on this Saturday. We're having at the zoo, and asking that everyone pay for their own entry in lieu of a gift. Instead of a lolly bag, Willow's friends are getting a small Arctic animal or two, and a bit of fake snow. Maybe. I mean, I'm the worst with maths, and I can't figure out how much it will expand, and even if it will expand enough for however many kids come. We're also making animal masks, and puppets, and playing limbo, and I need to get off my butt and start wrapping up a parcel for pass the parcel. Willow also wants to play I spy. There are also animal talks throughout the morning, then a few hours break over the heat of the day, then a few more in the afternoon. There is also animal feeding. Whew. I doubt we will be bored. A group of 4 year olds just don't get bored, do they?

Then and now: the courtyard bed.

During the dry midwinter, it our courtyard garden bed seemed to do ok-ish. (The same garden bed back in mid-Autumn was a mud pit.)

Since I photographed Willow with her flowers, she wanted to photograph me with mine. The whispy plant to the right is coriander, the stuff climbing up the fence are peas. The peas went fairly well, although I think they went better by the driveway, where they get full sun. This garden bed gets some morning sun, once the sun clears the house, but the fence blocks it getting afternoon sun. Salad greens and red scarlet runner beans don't like it here. Beetroot, carrot, basil, sunflowers, coriander and parsley seem to like it here, except it floods, and beetroot and carrot don't like that.

Now, in the spring? Willow and I got a carrot each to eat. Willow loved pulling them out of the ground.

I don't know where they came from, but I suspect Willow planted them. (She also planted the parsley which is doing really well, so she's a better gardener than me.) Also, see that bushy looking thing next to Willow as she's pulling up the carrot? That's the coriander you can barely see in the photos from winter- it really took off.

Then, spring. Well, remember the house that they pulled down? The reason I was wandering around after hours was because I was on the prowl for bricks. I carted them all back to the the garden, two by two, until I was thoroughly sick of the job. I used it to build a part of a retaining wall. You can just see it on the left, behind Willow's parsley. It turns out now I need about a third more bricks for the garden :(

The garden bed by the front door. This is where mint and/or chives are supposed to grow. Nothing grew all winter, nothing seems to want to grow this spring. I don't get it. My neighbor has mint in the exact same spot and it's gone crazy. But mine? It keeps dying. Something keeps eating it, despite all the crushed egg shells I dump there.

Behold my massive coriander. It towers over Willow. Do you like my retaining wall?

The other side of the coriander. It's uh... a work in progress.

MissBean's baby beans.

Hanging pot of tomatoes, beans and basil. Yes, they're planted close together... but it's an experiment. Like the Hunger Games or something. Only the best can survive. The pot behind has silverbeet.

Pots hanging from the clotheslines.

Tub to the right of the bird's cage. Malabar spinach, amaranth, cress, beans.

Seedlings. Mostly rainbow beet and corn and beetroot and beans.

By the driveway, under the lemon tree. Beans, tomatoes and perpetual spinach.

Willow must have planted these or something. Mark accidently poisoned them, and I panicked and watered them straight away and hoped they would survive. They didn't.

Then I did some glamourous things with chook poo and other good-for-the-soil stuff, and dug out the plants so I didn't bury them when I raised the soil level.... and then we were in the grip of hellfire hot weather and no rain. The water tanks have been empty for ages. Everything was struggling. We've had plants die- something randomly killed all the beans in one pot, and some beetroots just failed to thrive, and apparently, stevia and mint are delicious and everyone but me should get to eat it.... But whatever. We've put in some beer traps for the slugs, and thickly mulched everything. Then, because there was no grass left in the area we normally have the guinea pigs hutch, we decided to block off the garden best we could, and let them roam free, and find whatever greens they could. First they ate all my basil, then all my parsley. Then they all the bean leaves they could reach, then the long grass we originally hoped they would eat. They knocked over my corn and ate all that. Then all my other plants. We got some good beetroots, and some of the beans were tall enough to escape the guinea pigs.... but they basically stripped the garden.

Since we are looking at moving into our own home really soon, we decided to plant in a new easy care garden. It was something we were going to do anyway when we left, since veggie gardens are rarely attractive. So, stay tuned for the big reveal once the rain stops and we get back out there!

.

plans.

Willow will be 4 in two weeks and a bit. 4 is an age where they really have an opinion on what they want, isn't it? I asked Willow a while ago what what sort of birthday cake she wanted, and she said she wanted a rainbow banana cake. Easy. That's, like, banana bread with colourful icing, right? I can do that. She's also changed it to being a cake with a transformer on top, no mum, a fairy. A fairy on top. With rainbow sides. 
I have no idea how to ice rainbow sides on a cake. That sounds like effort. I'm not very skilled at baking or icing.

Happily, four is also an age with a really short attention span, and I know whatever cake I make Willow- as long as it's fabulous enough- will probably meet with her approval. I don't want to go too far into Disney Fairy territory, because most of Willow's friend's are boys, and I don't want to alienate them, or reinforce the idea that certain themes are feminine or masculine.

So, the ideas:
- A woodland theme. Because fairies and elves and Willow likes foxes. Also, I got these toadstool candles from Lark on sale on boxing day, with the vague idea of using them as birthday candles. However, odd numbers tend to look more aesthetically pleasing than even, so I might save these for when she turns 5. Maybe. I was visualizing a cake something like this- chocolate, with chocolate icing, and desiccated coconut dyed green sprinkled on top, and a scattering of plastic toys. Easy.
- Sprinkles, in keeping with the rainbow theme, like this or this. Both are very charming. However, I have noticed the colour on sprinkles can bleed after a while, which is unfortunate.
- Rainbow in smarties/skittles whatever. Like this, or this. Willow likes decorating, so this seems like something she could really enjoy.

Willow's having her party at the local zoo. They don't charge for venue hire, and I've asked everyone to pay entry in lieu of a gift. Finger's crossed that our cake turns out ok, we don't end up with too much food or not enough, we have enough cool water to go around and cups, that the day lives up to Willow's expectations but isn't over the top, the weather is lovely and.... the wolves don't eat the children.

Willow says...

Yesterday for some reason Willow became very anti trees. Repeatedly on our drive (we went fishing) she said she didn't like trees, there are too many trees, and we should cut them down because she doesn't like jungles.

She's also taken a shine to an abc3 news reporter. First she was all "oooh, she's pretty!"
"why do you think she's pretty, willow?"
"Because she's wearing a purple top. Oooh look she says her name is Emma! And she will be back tomorrow!"

If you ask willow her favorite colour she will give you all sorts of colours- black, brown, othertimes she will simply work through the whole spectrum of the rainbow. I have noticed she seems especially fond of sparkly purple- its the glitter gel pen she used up first, its the colour she picked for her earrings, and its a colour she often admires. That said, willow is also into rainbows, if they counts as a colour.

On that note, how cool is THIS wallpaper? Oh yes please. Just for one wall of Willows room, I think.

monday's child.

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

So, obviously, I've made a change to my photos. They're all watermarked. It just seemed like a good idea, for a whole lot of reasons. To be honest, if I had started this blog today, I would do it differently. I probably would use more pseudonyms. Like, since it's called Sundayland, perhaps M could become Mr Monday? And Willow could be Miss Wednesday. It works, based on the initial of the first name.

The idea certainly has potential, except Willow isn't full of woe. She was born on a Sunday and the prophecy of the rhyme certainly suits her. M was actually born on a Monday, while I was born on a Thursday. So who knows? Maybe I'll run with that idea sometime.

Also, culturally, we're not supposed to like Monday's, but M is very likable.

I've also been thinking about what to do with older posts. Delete them all? Put them all on lockdown? Delete all the old photos? There is a lot of posts- like, it could actually be easier to delete the whole blog, and start again.

I guess these changes have been brought about for a few different reasons. When I started I was very lonely and isolated, so blogging was a nice outlet for me... like hey, I might be really unhappy in my life, but at least I can make it sound ok. I don't need to fool anyone any more. I'm more aware of internet security- I've always been pretty savvy, but now I'm even more paranoid. The more you learn... I also have less time. Like, seriously. When I first started, I didn't have many mummy friends, or hobbies. I was a little lost. Now, I find my life really fulfilling. Willow is also older, so there is just a whole lot less to write about, as well.

What do you think? Should we become the new Adams family, with Miss Wednesday and Mr Monday and Ms Sunday?

Home again

Ah, home. The sweetest place on earth, isn't it? We've actually been home since Friday night, but I only feel like we have unwound now, and returned to our routine... Well, almost. Willow had her first dance class today, and returns to childcare this week, while I return to uni at the start of march. This semester I will be studying human bioscience, primary health care and mental health. Human bioscience and chemistry are my weakest points, although I find them fascinating- I just struggle with names and the abstract nature of it. In my day to day life this means after several years I can't remember if my friends husband is Mitchell or Michael, which is merely embarrassing, but in nursing means I get, say, oxytocin and oxycodone helplessly mixed up. Since a lot of things share similar chemical names... A chemist I will not make. 

The other nice thing about uni is the fruit and veg co op: a generous box of seasonal fruit and veg, for the low low price of $15 a box. M and I normally supplement what's in the box with more bananas, but its usually a good haul for our fruit loving household. Its also a great way to avoid getting in a fruit and veg rut. 

Plus, it makes us feel so hip, being part of a co op. 

good and bad.

I think we all have the tendency to focus on our successes, rather than our failures, especially when we blog. Being online, or on facebook, makes that easy.... When Willow does a good drawing, it gets shared on facebook. What doesn't get shared? The drawings where she just did squiggles, or the time she decided to tip all the water into the paint container, which promptly split on the floor...

Sometimes I have the pleasure of interacting with people whose children are grown, and they frown when they see a kid playing up. My kids never behaved like that, they say, shaking their head. People these days just don't know how to discipline their kids. 

Yes, there are some dodgy as all hell parents these days. But there have been dodgy as all hell parents throughout history. Heck, in the Bible, Lot offers his virgin daughter's up to be gang raped by the men of Sodom and yes, God makes all the men go blind because rape is wrong, but Lot still offered them. Today though? There is so much choice and so much convenience. The most obvious example would be food. People thought I was odd for packing food for my eight hour train ride.... even though my food was delicious and healthy, and the food you get on the train is not. So there's that choice- to pack or buy? Once all you could get was pretty much water when you went out- now you can choose juices, cola, lemonade, sparkling water, soda water, sports drink, fancy pants drinks with licensed characters aimed at children, poppas... Companies are constantly trying to sell us crap- 100% natural! Yeah, but high in sugar, which is natural. No artificial colours! Err yes. But "natural" colours can still be pretty bad for you. After all, Annatto is from a tree, but it's just as bad as any synthetic colouring- heck, it affects more people than artificial colouring does! So I feel like it's a bit of an uphill battle to make an informed choice... Ok. Drinks was a bad analogy, since the obvious best choice is water. But... to vaccinate or not? Organic or not? Eggs and peanuts in the womb or not? So many choices. I think we have very different battles now, too. 

Anyways. The good and the bad. I try to write about both, because I think we owe it to ourselves, to other parents- hey look, I'm not perfect. I'm not a constant stream of pinterest worthy projects. Sometimes I hear other mothers screaming at their kids in the shops, and I wonder if I sound like that? What do I sound like when I discipline my kid to other people? How does Willow come across to other people? Annoying? Charming? Well behaved?

Anyways. This is perhaps a bit confusing, my desire to write about the good and bad, as well as musing on how we have so many choices now, choices that previous generations didn't have. We also are more open to attack these days. Announce on an internet forum that you, say, circumcised your son because you believe it's cleaner/ his dad is/ religion and you're likely to get blasted by "inactivists" who think you've just mutilated your son. There are groups formed against pretty much every parenting decision you might make, because out there, there are a large group of people who think you're wrong and aren't scared to tell you so.

Baby sleeping in another room? There will be attachment parents who will accuse you of abusing your child.
Baby sleeping in your bed? There will also be parents saying you're abusing your child, by dicing with their life.

Of course, most people are content to let you be. But you don't hear them. You hear the random stranger on the net, blasting you for being a shit parent because you didn't breast feed.

I guess none of us are perfect. None of us can make perfect decisions. 

a year of less and more- the clothing edition.

Oh yes. Clothing. It's a big business, isn't it? It's very easy, as a female, to acquire a lot of clothing. I certainly didn't think I had a lot of clothing, since I don't follow fashions or buy stuff every season- but I still have over 200 pieces of clothing, excluding home clothes and underwear.

I think I ended up with far more clothes than M for four main reasons:
- There is a larger choice. Much larger choice. M gets to pick betweeen polos, t shirts or buttoned up shirts. In necklines alone, I get to choose from boat, v, u, scoop, sweet heart, turtleneck, square, plunging, bateu, round, round split, cowl, draped, halter, one shouldered, portrait, scalloped, cross over, diamond, keyhole, asymmetrical, wide...
- Other stuff. I cannot wear the same bra under all these necklines... actually, I do. Because the last time I wore a strapless bra, it was so tight (the shop assistants swore to me it was supposed to be tight) it actually cut off my circulation so badly, I ended up with these weird fat deposits under my arm. Like blisters, because the flow of bodily fluids were so badly restricted. Ok, so I have only regular bras, and I refuse to go strapless, ever. I also refuse to go braless, ever, and I can't be stuffed buying all different types of bras to go under different types of tops. But even then, I still need other stuff. Like a slip to go under a white dress. Or bike pants, to go under dresses and skirts. Pantyhose, in various deniers. Camis or singlets, to go under various tops. You get the idea.
- Then there is a wider range of cuts, and fabrics, making them suitable for vastly different events. Women's clothes are generally harder to dress down or up, compared to men's. Example: cocktail attire, going out for drinks wear, clubbing wear, after 5 wear, business casual, dressy casual, business formal, a job interview, graduation clothes, "friend's wedding at the beach", "friends wedding at church," and "friend's baby's baptism," would have me reaching for vastly different items of clothing. M can get away with a long sleeved buttoned up shirt, men's dress shoes or non scrungy closed in shoes, good jeans or formal pants, and perhaps a tie for all of these events. 5 items- 9 if you include cologne, a watch, underpants and socks- has all his dressing up needs covered for the next 20 years or so. But me? I could wear more than 9 items in the one outfit. (Dress, cardigan, knickers, bra to match the colour of dress and neckline of dress, slip, panty hose, socks (because I'm weird like that) bike shorts (it's a modesty thing under my skirts) shoes (to match the dress and occasion) handbag (again, matching the dress, shoes and occasion) make up (eyeliner, foundation, mascara, lipstick, eyeshadow) necklace, earrings, other accessories (hair? broach? scarf? etc). Also, it's faux pas for a girl to wear black to a wedding or baptism (sorry little black dress), and colour to a funeral (sorry, all purpose red dress), unless otherwise specified. Unless the wedding has a black theme, I guess, but even then it doesn't seem right. Oh, and never wear white to a wedding, unless you're the bride. Also, fashionistas will argue that certain colours belong in certain seasons ie you can't wear winter colours to a summer wedding.
-  Oh yeah. Colours. There is a larger colourway. Men's clothes normally come in 50 shades of drab. Girls clothes come in every colour of the rainbow because SEASONS ARE SOMETHING WE NEED TO FOLLOW AND COLOURS CHANGE EVERY SEASON AND EVERY YEAR apparently (this dates back to Japan's Heian times, the idea that one should wear certain colours for certain seasons) so therefore, you end up buying more clothes in different colours to match other stuff. Like, I can't wear my red cardigan with my purple dress, clearly I need a different cardigan. Also, the blue shoes I always wear with my red dress aren't suitable for this event, because they're strappy heels, and it's a winter event held on grass.
At this point, M's given up and just handed me a $20 dollar note, going ok, fine, whatever. But this is bigger this us, darling. I cannot go to your friend's spring wedding wearing the same outfit from my friend's winter engagement party because they require totally different clothes. No, I can't wear the heels I already have, because they're green. You know I can't wear green and red. That's for Christmas only...

These four reasons- larger choice, different expectation from society, colour matching and accessories(? Undergarmenting?) kinda explains why I have so much more clothing than M, even when you knock out the 5th reason of "advertising is constantly telling me to buy more clothes." So, the idea of shedding so much clothing is kinda scary... will I still be socially acceptable if I wear the same four things to every fancy event for the next 10 years? Will people give me the side eye and refuse to be my friend? Will I be able to make a good impression? But... I'm going ok so far. I've gotten down to about 80 items of clothing. It's not so bad, to be honest. Once I started, it was ok. Therapeutic. I've hit a wall, because I don't want to go through my winter stuff just yet. I just don't think I'll make a rational decision during a heat wave. (WINTER CLOTHES! Who needs winter clothes! It's so hot, how could I ever be so cold?)

So yeah. Perhaps when I get down to 60, I'll do some sort of post about what my wardrobe looks like then. But I also wanted to make sure people didn't think I was a witch who carted 8 large bags of her daughter's toys to the op shop, with no thought to my own junk collections. ;) I've also culled a lot of my books and linens (towels and bedlinen).  The next stop is our kitchen, which probably isn't too bad.

Anyone else doing a wardrobe clean out?

2014, a year of less (and more).

I've been playing around with this post for several months- since after Willow's 3rd birthday, in fact. I've written several drafts but never posted them. I couldn't find the right words, or tone, or explanations. The posts were always too long, too wordy, too complicated. So then Christmas came, and Willow was drowned in gifts again, and I've decided that I need to write this post, once and for all, before her next birthday.

So here is the thing. We have a lot of stuff. Most of us do. We are privileged, because we are the top of the food chain. We are a consumer society, we know this, but few stop to think where our crap comes from, and where it's going. As the Story of Stuff explains so well, we work on a linear system. Our privilege is built on other people's suffering, on their low wages, on unsafe work conditions, on children working, on slave-like conditions (or outright slavery). And for what? So I can buy Willow 2 tops for $5 each?

I've been decluttering for a while. I started on Willow's toys first, since 90% of our battles with her are over material goods. I think I've op shopped 2/3rds- about 8 large garbage bags, although we got a LOT more over Christmas, yikes. The less stuff Willow has, the less arguments we have, and the better kept her toys are ie it's easier to find a missing puzzle piece. She's also much better behaved. I've been moving through our house, and it's so much better. Truly. Easier to clean. Less dust.

We also want to buy a house so badly. Willow wants a brick house with a beautiful garden. I want timber floor boards and a beautiful old house on a large block, and M wants something modern and not haunted. To go cold turkey on consumerism will help up save for our dream home, and as a bonus, it will make moving easier!

Anyways, here is what we've decided.
- Max one item per family per event. ie Mr and Mrs Doe and their kids Jane and Joe can only give her one thing for Christmas, and one for her birthday, instead of a gift or two each time. This applies to everyone.
- No gifts throughout the year, "just because."
- I'm going to cull my wardrobe down to 60 items. That's for another post.
- Cull Willow's toys down again. M and I both like Willow not having tons of toy "accessories." The best example I can think of are Barbies, with their dozens of shoes, hair brushes and various other stuff. She doesn't lack for toys, but no child really needs to have their own toy shop worth of toys.
- Cull a few other things we have lying around. Like, some stuff in the kitchen that we never use, or bed sheets we never use because I don't like the colour.
- I'm not going to buy anything new this year for Willow or myself. There will be exceptions ie, uniforms, textbooks (which I try to get second hand anyway). But... I can make a lot of stuff (trying to not buy more fabric as well) and we get a lot of hand me downs, so clothes from last winter should still fit her. I'm not going to let Willow freeze so mummy can make some political statement.
- If I do need to buy something, it will be second hand. For example: navy coloured pants for uni. I'm not going to sew them because a) I hate sewing synthetic fabrics and would rather jab a needle into my eye and b) buying synthetic fabric then sewing it isn't all that cost effective. On the other hand, I got a lovely pair of second hand navy pants off ebay, Portmans, and made in Australia for $15.
- Buying local is a priority for us. If not local, than second hand.

Anyways, this probably seems crazy to some people. But I'm ok with this. I feel ok with this. I've been doing this for a month now. I've only purchased a new pair of shorts, because I only have one pair of shorts, and heatwave, so yeah. (Reasons why I got rid of a lot of dresses and skirts to follow in a later post, along with more explaining about why I'm doing this.)

So, have you made any new year resolutions? Have you kept them into January?

Paddle time.

Willow is a huge fan of sleep overs. With me in tow, she's slept over at Ethan's once, Tabitha's twice, and Amber's once, and amber has slept over here once. Weirdly, she's not too keen on actually *sharing a room* with any of her friends at this stage. At Amber's, she preferred to sleep in Amber's mum's room (I had the couch in the living room, so it wasn't a comfort thing) and at Ethan's, she wanted to sleep in baby Annabella's room (to look after her) rather than in with Ethan.
The last time we slept over at Tabitha's, Tabi went to bed a LOT sooner than willow did. Then she woke crying for her mother, who was at work, so tabi asked for willow to lie down with her. Willow had come into tabi's room with me when the crying started and attempted to comfort tabi by patting her and asking her what was wrong, but then got bored and wandered off to play in the living room.
I walked out and asked willow to lie down with tabi and willow looked horrified.
"But I'm not ready for bed yet!" She protested. I explained it was only until tabi fell asleep, so willow sighed and climbed into Tabitha's bed.

About 5 minutes later tabi was quiet.
"Mummy, can I go play now?" Willow whispered.
"Sure willow, if you think tabi is sleeping. If she wakes you'll have to come back," I whispered back.
Willow slowly slid off the bed and began to creep towards the door... And well, tabi woke and willow sighed and climbed back into her bed.

I'm so enchanted to see the growing up, responsible side of willow. Willow won't donate her toys to kids with no toys ("they can come here and share my toys") but she will happily give away toys she's outgrown to Annabella.  She wants a baby sister, and says her baby sister can share her room, and when she wakes in the night she will put her back to sleep. She not only knows the house rules, but she will enforce them when her friends come over.

Of course, sometimes she does really silly things- like she somehow did a somersault and fell off Ethan's swing, head first in the dirt, while Ethan's mother and I gasped in horror. She slowly climbed to her feet, rubbed her head, and shouted "I'm ok!" Ethan cracked up laughing, so willow proceeded to do several more head first tumbles off the swing for his amusement.

Anyways. The picture below is of willow hanging out in Amber's paddling pool during the latest heatwave.

Its not obvious in this photo, but willow told amber she only wanted blue toys... So amber ran off to find every blue water safe toy she could for willow.

Dinosaur hair.

This is willows "dinosaur hair" where she has a line of pony tails keeping her hair all together. (inspired by a stegosaurous?)

Friends.

Happiness.

Happiness for Willow is time with friends. Lots of time with friends. Especially sleep overs and swimming and playing in the bath tub and long bus rides with a friend. 
Happiness in adulthood is a little more complicated. But I think we are happy, very happy. Do I dare to say it? That this is as good as it gets? Oh yes. 2013 was hard work. But enjoyable hard work. We made friends, we settled in, our garden grew. We learnt to be a family, for each of us to deal with the others, and we are all learning, and happy to learn. At the end of the month, m and I will have marked two years together. That's not a lot of time, unless you are willow. It would be arrogant to make any sweeping statements about our relationship, wouldn't it? They have been a happy time, the happiest of times, especially recently. Willow is such a joy to parent, and m makes my heart sing. Both of them put a smile on my face.

We have wonderful friends. We have our tiny wonderful family. We have laughter and joy, and our two well loved guinea pigs, and our (less adored, since they are not cuddly) budgies. We have our house, which is very comfortable and cosy, despite being barely bigger than a shoe box, but we are getting better and better at making that work for us. We have our health. Maybe this year we will buy a house. (fingers crossed).

I don't want to say this is happily ever after, because this isn't the end. There is so much future in front of us to look forward to.

Happy 2014!

Oh this thing?

Oh yeah, this thing? Had it for ages. Willow is insanely fond of it and went through a period of asking me to marry her so she could get a ring. I will love you until all the leaves fall off the trees, she promises. She wants a wedding with lot of flowers. Eventually, M gave her a ring- one of those $2 ones, from the vending machine- and she's just so, so happy. She likes to tell people how M gave her a ring in the fish and chip shop, and she's so happy. But anyways, that is old news.

Engagement FAQS:
WHEN IS THE WEDDING?
I don't know. Eventually. Maybe. After we save up and buy a house.

WHEN DID YOU GET ENGAGED WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
Back in may, and sorry. I expected social media and word of mouth to spread the word.

Have you picked a dress?
Yes and no. I've eyeballed some dresses I like, but I haven't purchased anything. I've also eyeballed some vintage dress designs.

Where will you have the reception?
At all you can eat pizza hut.

(As a little boy M told his mother "if I ever get married, I want to have the reception at all you can eat Pizza Hut." His mum told me the story and I laughed, because M totally still does want to have it there. I have fond memories of childhood birthday parties spent there too, so... hey, why not? Plus, we're both pigs, who can eat our body weight in melted cheese. We've agreed that if we elope, we will go there afterwards.)

While M and I are both really talkative, we are also both hideously shy. We both like the idea of "getting married" but is it possible to get married with no one watching you? And do we really have to sit up there on a table all by ourselves? And do we have to DANCE in front of everyone? Do I really have to walk down the aisle while everyone stares at me? Do I have to EAT sitting on a stage in front of everyone? Oh god please no.

We're thinking a backyard wedding, with BBQ after. Or we might elope. There's definitely that.

Are you going to elope?/ Why don't you two elope?
Mark is convinced that my parents will kill him, and he doesn't want to disappoint his mother. Also, I don't see the point of dressing up fancy if no one is going to see me, so we might as well go to the registry office.... and if we go to the registry office, it's still like $500 to get married. So in our minds, we might as well spend a grand or two on getting married at home.

Did he get down on bended knee?
No.

Did M pick the ring?
No, I did. Because we're romantic like that. Also, it was the worst shopping experience of our lives, because I was all "I want a relativity cheap ring, because I'm hardly going to wear it since I have to take it off for most jobs and activities, and once I get married I'll probably just wear that band. I hate wearing two rings on the same finger and I hate the look, plus I don't see the point in an expensive ring," while M was all "I already purchased her an expensive phone. And I pay for all her stuff. Also, she looses a lot of crap."

Jewelers and their staff are a really judgmental bunch. One jeweler memorably told M "Oh, she'll LOVE this ring! It's a ring she'll be really proud to show off to her friends."

No. That's not who I am. 

How much did it cost?
I'm not going to tell you. Oh, I'm not ashamed of what we (ok, M) paid, but it's more the uncomfortable feeling of bragging. Or worse, the thinly veiled look of pity. What the hell guys? Why is there is idea that M needs to spend $5000 on a ring to prove his love to me?
Especially since I stated that I wanted a cheap ring, and everyone has a different idea of what cheap is. So yeah.

How did he propose?
Romantically.

Were you surprised?
Nope. Because months ago, M was all "I wanted to propose to you in the first week you were down here, but I didn't want to seem too keen."
Also, I knew it was going to happen in my first week down here, because M isn't subtle.

Can I be your bridesmaid?
Maybe. Unless you expect me to pay for you dress, than no.

What does Willow think? How does she feel about M in her life?
She's three. Mark buys her fun stuff and sneaks her lollies and takes her to the movies. She adores him and worships the ground he walks on and cries when he goes away. She mimics him so much, and I think my heart might explode from the cuteness and love I have for both of them.

rats love cheese too.

I found this block of cheese in our fridge.

Cinderella Hair.

M, brushing Willow's hair. She's staring into our mirrored wardrobe doors the whole time, because she's vain like that.

M and I got Willow a princess dress. It was extremely out of character for us, but we were feeling guilty as all hell. We both somehow missed that it was dress up week at pre school. (The previous week it took me two hours to get home from Uni, because bushfires and traffic jams suck. M was late to get Willow, and yeah.) When I got there, there was a girl dressed up and Willow began to panic- "mummy, today is dress up day!" she cried.
"No it's not," I said. "She's just dressed up because she feels like it."
"No, it's dress up day!"
"Well, this is the first I've heard about it... Oh." I replied, as I noticed two more princesses walk in. Willow starts to get upset. I stay as long as I can, but I have to leave in order to get my bus to uni. I peddle as fast as I can, but I manage to miss it by several meters.
Then I couldn't board the second bus because I had no coins.
Then I decided screw it, and M returned from camping and picked me up and I told him how everything had gone wrong and I left Willow near tears. So we went to find the most princessy dress we could find, and settled on this $20 nylon delight, while I complained at how shite the quality was and how I could make much better (although, not in time for tomorrow) and M wondered if maybe, Willow would like the Teenaged Mutant Ninja dress up instead.

Then I picked up Willow and was all "I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. What do you really want to dress up as tomorrow?"
"A frog. With my froggy cape and I can go ribbit, ribbit and hop around."
"Oh. Well, mummy and Mark got you a PRINCESS DRESS UP DRESS!"
"Oh. But I wanted to be a frog."

She liked it in the end, even though she complains it's scratchy and ouchy when she wears it without a shirt underneath. So the moral of the story is... don't fail at parenting. Also, home made is always better than

And yes, my study desk is at the foot of our bed. It makes for a relaxing night's sleep.

wah

She didn't want to go to bed because there were monster's there who were going climb in through the window to tie her up, kidnap her, put her in a sack and run away with her like the big bad banksia men did to Cuddlepie.