Fish baked in milk with preserved lemons.

This isn't a hugely precise recipe since I cook mostly on intuition. I have no idea how many minutes a slice of fish takes to cook- I generally just know based on smell and gut feelings. I generally bake around 180-220C. 

If a packet tells M to bake for half an hour at 185C, he will set a timer and bake at 185C for half an hour. 

M is probably a better assembler of dinners than me. He will have everything ready and hot on the table at 7pm. However, give him a new oven, new receipe, or even having to bake two different trays at the same time and he will struggle. 

I'm more adaptable. I can make a delicious meal over an open fire or in a new oven, and I can cook outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes my dinners might run a bit late. I burn less food. I can bake cakes, M burns them. I figured out our bread maker on my first try, M struggled for many goes. M can make a better damper than me (which is weird since he can't bake a cake). But you can probably expect a higher standard of meal with M. So it probably evens out in the end. 

Anyways. This is something you could probably involve a helpful 4 year old in preparing. Sure, there is hot stuff happening, but the milk isn't TOO hot- it's not deep frying hot, so that's something.

You will need: 

Fish.

Tabasco sauce.

Parsley. 

Pepper. 

Preserved lemons. 

Shallot/ French onion.

Milk.

Thickening agent of choice ie cornflour. 

Chop up your shallots. Add to saucepan. Add milk. Turn heat on low and stir. Add pepper, parsley, two preserved lemon slices and Tabasco. Let it gently simmer away while you do other stuff- I was washing and cutting potatoes to boil for mash, which is what I served it with. You could also serve this with rice. Once the milk is warm, taste and adjust seasoning if needed. Don't let the milk boil. That's never good. Add cornflour to thicken mixture. Remember, when the fish cooks, it will release liquid so this sauce will only get runnier. That said don't go too crazy. You can always thicken it up later- just a bit tricker once it has fish in there. 

Arrange fish slices in a deep baking tray. Pour the milk sauce over the whole thing. Bake till the fish are done. I love preserved lemons, so I added three, but that might be a bit much for most people.

And no, I don't have photos because I'm a terrible food photographer. 

Geeks.

family.

These photos were actually from when my parents visited a few months ago, that I never got around to posting. We went to the Circus, and Walka Water Works, where you can ride a miniature train around the lake. And we took some photos.

man of the house.

Another one of those posts... the posts I sit on, for weeks, for months, turning over in my head, deciding what to say...

Friends would often ask us what Willow called M- she calls him by his first name. Neither of us minded. I actually liked it in a way- Mummy and Marky, the alliteration, a matched pair. Neither of us honestly felt the need for Mark to claim a title for himself, because it's a title for other people, really. M is not ruled by his ego. It's the little things that makes him a role model, a carer, a guardian, a man. It's seeing Willow mimic the best of him, and Willow learning directly and indirectly from him. It's the tickles and the cuddles, and the breakfasts and the disciplining and the sacrifices and memories he makes.

Then after Christmas, he went back to work, and Willow and I stayed with his family for a few days. Willow missed him. I'm so sad M is gone, she would cry. Someone commented to Willow playing on a swing set that she should tell M to hurry up and buy a house, so she can have a swing set of her own.
Whose M? She innocently asked. We laughed.
You know. M. The guy you live with. 
Oh him? I call him Daddy now, Willow casually answered. The friend looked at me and I shrugged. That's news to me too, I said. Then we more or less dropped the topic.

Sometimes she calls him Daddy. Sometimes she calls him Mark. Sometimes she calls him Daddy Mark, or Mark Daddy. Sometimes she calls me Christine. She refers to us jointly as her parents. I'd half tried to explain to her that Mark was technically a stepfather- Hey Willow, do you ever wonder why you call M, M, instead of Daddy?
No, why? 
Um...
Tell me!
Well, you know how Amber's daddy doesn't live with Amber and her mum?
But my daddy does live with us, She replied, while giving me some serious duh side eye.
Ah... yeah. Ok. 

M has never complained about rising Willow- the expenses, the changed lifestyle, changing his own plans or dreams for his own children. He accepts that. He doesn't complain. He doesn't haggle over money- he doesn't deny her classes in dancing or swimming, or trips to the zoo, or holidays to see her grandparents- I do think he loves her as he would his own. (And his own she is in so many ways!) He make bright plans for her future- cricket lessons, birthday present ideas, schooling- and makes her laugh. He reads her patient bed time stories, and she pretends to sleep, snuggled into his arm, so he can't leave. He patiently teaches her the names of the fish they catch, how to read (we try to, anyway) the cars on the road, and not so patiently reminds her to not talk back. Willow's friend's also adore M- one made a point of asking her mum if "Willow's dad" would be there today. Another time, during a sleepover, Amber was getting frustrated with Willow and was all What would M say if he was here about leaving the lids off the textas? I don't remember Willow's reply, but then the two girls were then all I wish M was here. He's pretty great, isn't he? to each other.
(The only thing I heard them say about me behind my back was "We'd better stop, Christine might come in and get mad" which I'm 90% sure means that M and I have the good cop/ bad cop routine happening.)

M doesn't let his ego or pride get in the way of caring for Willow. And it's beautiful and makes my heart want to explode for the two of them. Sometimes when  I tell M how great I think he is with Willow, how good he is, he jokes "Well, imagine how good I'd be with one of my own!"

But do you want to know a secret? I think Willow is pretty much is own already.

life and death.

Willow casually mentioned in the car that she didn't want Ethan coming to her birthday. On further questioning, she explained that she "just didn't" and only wanted Amber and Xander there, but she was looking forward to sleeping over at Ethan's that night. Huh. Ok.

I mentioned it to ethan's mum, who replied that Ethan had mentioned not wanting Willow to come to his birthday (a trip to see monster trucks) because "Willow just doesn't get trucks." A fair enough statement, because when Monster trucks are on tv, Ethan tries to get her to watch. 

Willow, naturally, was all what are these cars doing?
"Willow, they're not cars! They're TRUCKS!" Ethan replied, scandalized. Then Willow got bored and wandered off, and Ethan was all "Willow, he's about to do a burnout! Come look! Why aren't you watching? You're missing out! Willow!"

I guess Willow and Ethan must have discussed their birthdays and reached a mature and mutual decision- Ethan doesn't want any part of a princess party or whatever Willow has planned, and Willow doesn't want any part of monster trucks. (Although after watching the V8 Supercars with M on tv, Willow came and asked me why do some people like car races and some do not?)

Willow is very much looking forward to turning 5. She's sick of being the shortest and slowest. When she turns 5, she believes she will then be bigger than Ethan and Dean, because they'll only be 4. I did point out that they'll be 5 in October and November, but she just looked at me funny. It reminds me of the night of her birthday, when Willow was playing with Amber and was all "you can be the baby and I'LL be the mummy cos I'm big now, I'm FOUR." Amber gave her a massive side eye and we fell about laughing, because Amber is a year and a half older.

Amber slept over a few weeks ago. I got solo kid duties, as M ended going out to a work dinner with Amber's mother, which isn't as weird as it sounds. As Amber and her mum said goodbyes and their "I love yous" Willow, standing to the side whispered "I'm going to kill you."

I blame Bambi. (Disney in general. They killed off Elsa's parents, Bambi's mum, Simba's dad, Nemo's mum and siblings, etc. Also Ever After, where the father dies of a heart attack, and Anastasia, which is by Fox Studios. I mean, in that one, Anastasia's entire family are quietly massacred off screen. ("mummy, where did her family go?" "Ah. They all died." "How did they die?" "....") Ever since watching Bambi Willow has been obsessed/ intensely curious about death.

With Ethan, they like playing "dead people" which involves one person being whacked by a ball with a string on it- this is the bullet, apparently. Then the other person drops down dead. If Ethan "kills" Willow, she lies there and yells orders at him- ok, now drag me down there! If Willow's "killing" Ethan she just whacks him repeatedly with the ball until they both fall about laughing. 

I can't decide if I should just let it go or get Willow into a psychologist. Death is a natural thing.... Right????

She suddenly thought one afternoon, when looking in the glass at her fairness, that there was yet another date, of greater importance to her than those; that of her own death, when all these charms would have disappeared; a day which lay sly and unseen among all the other days of the year, giving no sign or sound when she annually passed over it; but not the less surely there.

Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Ubervilles.

Magnatab

I got Willow this handy little gadget- a magnatab- and it lives in my bag as something for her to play with when we are out and bored. The little silver balls are magnetic, so when you run the pen over them they jump up and stick to the top. I don't know if that description made sense, but Willow enjoys it. There is an alphabet version, but it's $40... Maybe a Christmas gift? Hmm... There are already a few things that M and I are thinking of getting her for Christmas- like her very own mirror for her room, or a dream catcher for her collection, or duplo- so, we will see, since we don't like to go too crazy.

Suddenly it seems almost like spring might be here. Almost. But almost means it's time to start preparing to plant things... I have missed having fresh herbs growing. Basil, thyme, rosemary, sage, mint, coriander and parsley- I can't wait to get them growing! I've never had luck with starting sage from seed, and my mint keeps dying :( but a new house a new start? Perhaps this summer I shall (literally) taste success?

The cows are looking very fat in the nearby paddocks, and there are flowers appearing on certain bushes. Willow has planted a seed from an orange in our backyard, and she's been dutifully watering it every day for several days. I haven't been able to bring myself to tell her The Truth. We really need to do something with the garden, which is just a badly grassed sloping bit of land filled with bindis, but... money. Also, time. We're more focussed on the inside of the house. The outside is a big job.

I'd really love to just wake up and find it had been terraced and retaining walls up and a new fence up. Council approvals and paperwork done. Garden planned and planted and just done, ready for us to enjoy.

Willow's room update.

Ready to see the progression of Willow's room? All the photos combined into one glorious post? I dithered a bit, because I wasn't sure if I should include the photos from the room Willow has been sleeping in for the past two months. In the end I decided to, but how that room was used- the furniture etc- influenced how the final room was shaped.

One week in. 

One week in. 

One month in.

One month in, except in her original room. 

One month in, except in her original room. 

Two months in. 

Two months in. 

Two months in. 

Two months, one week in.

Two months, one week in.

And now, two months and two weeks later....

Rainbow curtains! It's hard to tell, but there is a light filtering blind across the window, for privacy and to filter some of that harsh sun out. In front of the window we did double rods- one rod has some plain white blockout curtains, to block out all the light, and the front are Willow's beloved rainbow curtains. I added two rows of purple thick rick rack to the bottom for interest. They're just a fun little detail. Willow specifically asked for curtains to block out all the light "so I can sleep longer." This girl loves her sleep.

Willow's "new" bed. It's a trundle bed. I've been tossing up on dying that white valence rainbow, since Willow wants a "rainbow" bed, but I'm not sure if a dyed doona cover, flat sheet or valence would look better. The side bumpers and the "head" board are actually the mattress from her old bed. Yeah, I'll get around to covering them all... eventually. 

Willow height hooks. We're yet to re-install door stoppers behind the doors, so I've covered the door knobs with cloths, so they don't damage the walls if you open them with too much force. 

Willow's play kitchen and brand new wardrobe. The kitchen doesn't quite fit- you can't open the door fully- but oh well. It was a hand me down, so I can't complain. Planning on a large plastic tub to sit on top of the wardrobe, but not sure if it should hold out of season clothing or Willow's bedlinen. There's only room for one....

Inside the wardrobe. When Willow gets older/ taller we will take that lower rod out, and replace it with drawers.  Right now it holds her shirts. The cubby has skirts in the tub down the bottom, and pants above. Except the pant tub has been borrowed somewhere else for now... Above it are Willow's underwear, singlets and socks. She actually asked to move her socks into her new wardrobe- they used to live next to her shoes- which I thought was interesting. Right now her pjs are folded up beneath the lower rail of shirts. They'll move into the cube bookcase at the foot her her bed later, when I get organised. Top rail is mostly for dresses and guest's clothes, when they come to stay.

Willow's bed is actually a trundle bed- there is a another single bed that fits quite nicely under here. We took it out for a sleepover, and M decided to hide underneath and wait for Willow. We've left the trundle out for now because Willow loves her secret spot under the bed. 

So, that's Willow's room. Her room is closest to completion- now we just need to do some finishing touches. Things like pictures and photos and her flamingo wall stickers. I'm thinking a floating shelf beside her bed in lieu of a bedside table- since having a surface beside a bed won't ever go astray, and being floating means you won't have to move it to get the trundle out. Or maybe a floating shelf above her bed? I also saw at Kmart these little decorative shelves shaped like a house- they're tiny, so you wouldn't put a lot on them, but I thought they'd be perfect for Willow's plastic toys/ rocks/ collections.

M and I have been spending a lot of time in Willow's room- mostly just chilling or lying on her bed, since her room is the nicest in the house right now.

Aroma Festival.

The Maitland Aroma Festival was on last weekend, and this photo pretty much sums it up:

It's a festival of cheese, coffee and chocolate, but there were loads of other things. It was heavenly. I think L and I were like Pacman, constantly eating our way around the Festival.
First we started with some chocolate. Willow wanted a cup of chocolate mousse. I was rather hoping she would pick a cup of strawberries with hot chocolate drizzled all over it, but the mousse was cheaper, so whatever. I told her she was going to have to share.
Next stall sold chilli liqueurs. L and I had a little sample. That little sample was enough to... thoroughly warm us up. Willow looked disgusted as we quickly shovelled some of her chocolate mousse down to take away the burn.
Then Willow and Ethan scored some balloons. They spent the rest of the day getting them tangled around each other and getting annoyed. Meanwhile, we tried some heavenly dark chocolate and vowed to return for more. (We forgot. I nearly cried). Then we shared a cup of thick Italian hot chocolate- so thick that as it cooled, it formed a skin on top. I love Italian hot chocolate.

After that, we decided we really needed something savoury, so we got a cheese platter for lunch. Willow loved the cheese. Afterwards, we ate a lemon curd meringue. I wasn't heartbroken that Willow said she didn't like the lemon, so yay! More for us! All of this was washed down with a locally made ginger beer.

After that we tried out several stalls worth of amazing condiments. I ended up getting a tomato sambal, tahini and preserved lemon sauce, melon, lemon and mustard seed sauce and a mandarin and lime sauce. The melon, lemon and mustard seed is really interesting- you can taste the melon. Very light and summery.

Anyways. We will be back soon with more updates on the house! (So much chaos. So much mess).

Living room- a rug!

Doesn't that rug look so much better? Perhaps you would recognise it as our old living room rug from our old house? Doesn't it seem like a better fit in here? Doesn't it seem so nice with our freshly painted walls?

Now, to get some curtains up, and rods up, and more seating in here.... I kinda wish M and I would just... win money or something. A nice lump sum of, say, $5k from the tooth fairy for taking good care of my teeth would be nice. M and I have been thinking that a sectional would be a better seating option for our living room- but hey, we just got this couch two years ago when we moved in together, and it wasn't THAT long ago.... But we do need more seating. Office chairs don't count.

Also, for everyone who thinks M is a saint for living with me- I think he just enjoys pain. While I'm content to paint the entire house in the same colour, M keeps talking about feature walls. I keep asking him if he's insane sure, and he's all totally, it will brighten up the room/ look really cool/ make an impact/ add some colour/ it's a kid's room, it needs to be cheery. He's brought home swatches to paint the living room wall, and swatches to paint the spare room's wardrobe door- none of which are white. He's also been talking about wallpapered feature walls.

Sucker for punishment, that one is.

Carpet.

Wednesday, with 24 hours to go for our carpet instal: all I could think was that we had bitten off more than we could chew. Actually, I started thinking that the night before, but whatever. It's not that ripping up carpet is especially difficult (not easy or fun) but... We've spent two months unpacking and settling things into place, and then we had to haul it all out again. Little things- like we had to empty out my fabric cupboard, full of neatly folded and organised fabric, arranged just so. Everything in Willows room had to be washed or sunned to make sure no fleas hung around.

So I guess it kinda sucked for the morale. 

Anyways. Wednesday night, m was supposed to finish a 12 hour shift, then we were going to move our heavy ensemble bed, rip up the carpet in our room and he was going to finish the trim in the spare room, before carpet went down. Brutal. 

Just after lunch on Wednesday, we got a phone call to say that when they rolled out our carpet to cut it into room sizes, they found it was covered in grease or oil.  I asked how salvageable it was- like, if they knocked the price down, it wouldn't be so bad if the grease spots were under a bed or something, right? But the majority of the marks were 60cm-100cm from the edge- so they would have been towards the middle of the rooms. This place doesn't keep carpet instore normally- they order it as they need it. Which makes sense for several reasons, but it made things rather tricky for us. The lovely carpet people promised to see what they could do and call me back.

Left, our original choice. Right, the substitute.

They offered us a similar carpet- it was about $10pm more (but they would absorb that cost). They has enough of the darker carpet to do all three rooms, but they were unsure of the lighter one. Since two of the three rooms don't get a lot of natural light, I decided to go lighter. (Now I'm kicking myself. One should always pick the darker options for flooring, shouldn't they...) It turns out they had enough for two rooms, and would have to order in some more for one more room... 

Little sample is our original colour, background is the lighter substitute.

... Which actually ended up working out really well for us. It meant that m didn't have to come home after 12 hours to rip out carpet. It meant I wasn't getting up early on Thursday to remove all the staple and tacks from the floorboard, before cleaning it, before the installers arrived.  All m had to do was paint the skirting board in the spare room, and we had two freshly painted rooms, utterly perfect and ready for new carpet. The extra week while we wait on some more carpet meant we now have time to paint our master bedroom and replace the manky skirting boards, rather than trying to do it later, around the new carpet.

And so, this afternoon.... 

Willow in her former bedroom, absolutely psychotic with glee. 

Willow's new room.

More of Willow's new room, complete with bits of fluff on the carpet still.

Left over carpet (yessssssssssssss). We have 4 in total so far. Now to get a quote on getting them overlocked to be turned into hall runners.

When Willow gets excited, she likes to pretend she's a dog.

Then Willow went and drew on the carpet this afternoon. So, you win some, you loose some. 

A house tour (by willow).

Recently, I was sick sick sick. (This was before we started ripping up the carpet). Lie in bed or on the couch for several days type sick. If I was upright I was dizzy, if I was horizontal I was asleep. (I managed to sleep through M's hammering and sanding in the room next door). Willow was sick first, and after vomiting everywhere for a day, she slowly began to get better. It took me a bit longer. M had night shifts, so unfortunately, for several days.... Willow got really good at fending for herself. (To his credit, M offered to not go to work, but then we would have had no money). Sometimes I'd wake and I'd lurch to the toilet and Willow would be all Oh mummy, are you awake? Can you look after me now? YAY! Other times I'd crawl into the kitchen to refill my water bottle and see she'd been making herself sandwiches. Sometimes I asked her what she had been doing for the past few hours, and she'd shrug and be all Oh, just playing in my room quietly. Sometimes I'd wake to find her beside me, playing games on my phone. Thank you Duplo, we owe you one.
On the upside, Willow was still pretty crook the whole time I was sick, so she wasn't eating much or very active, which was a god send in a way. She also ended up getting jelly for breakfast. Part of it was me feeling bad, another part was me figuring she'd enjoy making it and it was easy to clean up.

After a few days I emerged from the haze and found Willow had spent one morning taking photos on my phone. I actually find it fascinating to see the world from her perspective- what she values, what she sees. So, here we are.

Obligatory selfie.

Looking up from her bed.

Our shoe basket and laundry. 

Oh yeah, we finally got a rug to go by the front door.

The carpet. This... is a flattering photo of it. 

Sitting by our bedroom door and looking into the bathroom area. Yeah, obviously when I'm sick I don't pick any clothes off the floor.

Many selfies.

And another.

Scratched up kitchen floorboards.

M has been replacing our switches. It's nice to know Willow appreciated that small detail. Also, it appears Willow has swtiched to square photos now. 

Dining table. There were actually heaps of photos of this- she's obviously been posting the shiny stones and wooden puzzle piece just so. 

Willow loves sitting in the sun in the kitchen.

Sitting in her favourite spot on the floor.

Oh yeah. Our kitchen drawers don't quite sit flush. It's very annoying. 

Kitchen floorboards. Rustic.

We have lots of sun catchers in our kitchen window. Willow loves the rainbows and bits of light that they throw around the room. We make them ourselves.

Our floorboards could deal with a re polish. 

See our exhaust fan? How it's kinda red? Yeah. That's from when we were sanding the terracotta suede walls. Told you it went everywhere.

So that's a bit of our house, from Willow's perspective.